Resolution Revolution

New Year's is only a month away, which means we have one month to look forward to excessive drinking, the making of resolutions that will inevitably crumble, and ultimately the disappointment that accompanies laying in bed with a hangover, ordering Chinese takeout, and cancelling the gym membership. Sound familiar? But maybe this year will be different. This is the year we lose those 15 lbs that have been plaguing our wasteline! This is the year we quit smoking for good, finish that project that's been nagging us for for the past two years (whatever that may be), and train for that half-marathon that's been on the distant horizon for too long. What's the problem? Start! Go for a run! Put down those cigarettes! Pinch those pennies! Count carbs AND calories, but don't take it too far. Everything in moderation - do it the 'right way.' Eat square meals, cut up that credit card, get to the gym, think positive, etc etc etc etc . . . and there I am, laying in the fetal position on the couch, staring at the tv. It's too much for one person to handle. Fuck it, I'll try again next year.

Proactivechange.com reports that 46% of people who make New Year's resolutions maintain them for more than 6 months. Tracked via phone interview, I have a hunch that this statistic is highly optimistic. But, being New Year's Day is still a month away, you're probably wondering why I'm getting all worked up. Over the past couple of weeks I've fallen into a rut. Despite having the best intentions in regard to healthy eating, daily exercise, and giving up nicotine, there has been little in the way of results. The rut isn't restricted to healthy living habits, either. Somehow it finds its way into my finances, my intellectual endeavors, and let's not forget my emotional stability. Two days ago I tried to write an extensive and scathing review of the film Paranormal Activity and found myself running into nothing but dead ends. I lacked the articulation needed to create basic, well-informed arguments and left the project unfinished with nothing but frustration to show for it. The bottom line is this: I simply don't feel like setting myself up for another slew of disappointments. That's why I'm starting a month early this year. I just need a little headstart, a couple blocks on which to build my empire. It seems silly, trying to navigate through the holidays with weight-loss and financial goals, but it's better than the alternative. I'm not getting any younger, my metabolism isn't getting any faster, and lord knows my mind isn't becoming any sharper. When I asked my personal guru (aka my mom) about this predicament, she gave me a simple rule of thumb. Start with your health, everything else will fall into place. Get more sleep, go for a walk, eat more fruits and vegetables, quit making lofty and unrealistic fitness goals. Already today I neglected to wake up early and go to the gym AND I had a cigarette over my lunch break. I'm not off to a very good start. That brings me to my next point . . .

As I rapidly approach my 25th birthday (January 19th) it is becoming increasingly evident that I belong to Generation ME (also known as GenY, IGen, I, Gen1, Millenials, and GenY2K). Classifying the new generation is easy: anyone born after 1981 and before 1999. We were raised on technology, we reject cultural norms, and most of all, we're known for our self-obsession and narcissism. Unfortunately, it's all true. Most of us are spoiled, bored, overeducated, underpaid, we lack longterm goals yet have an abundance of opinions and ideals. We are the fast food generation. We all have laptops, Ipods, and Netflix, our accessibility to information being limitless. With all of this technology at our fingertips and the numbers in our favor, what do we do? We waste. We waste our time, our energy, and the world's resources. Welcome to the 21st century. Actions speak louder than words, but our words tell the story of our apathy. Catch the next installment anywhere in cyberspace. Gay marriage, abortion, recession - to us these are just terms . . . terms we were born with that hold no controversy or moral ambiguity. America the beautiful, land of the free market and home of consumerism. And my New Year's resolution? Let's just say greed and vanity are in this year. So we put the cultural revolution on hold, and hopefully by the time we're 30 we'll start giving a shit.