The Week 2 Blues

It's week two of my healthy living campaign and I think it's safe to say that I am in a slump. It's not that I lack the motivation to work out or I'm upset because it takes such a long time to see results . . . it's something deeper than that, something primal. I find that anytime I engage in a potentially life-changing activity, around the second week I bump into an existential crisis. I start questioning my motives, thinking things like "why does this even matter?" or "what are you trying to accomplish" and of course there's "you don't have to prove anything to anyone." It's that last statement that gets me. I end up taking on a 'me against the world, so fuck off' kind of attitude. I scoff at the media - throwing images of beautiful men and women in my face and thank God I'm so above that, thank God I'm unlike everyone else - acquiring chronic low self-esteem and buying into the false promises of consumerism . . . except that I'm not. I'm just as susceptible to the subliminal and not-so-subliminal messages that have resulted in our current cultural malaise. But this, too, is a cop-out. I can't blame all of my problems on society, the media, or the economy. At some point I have to take responsibility. And that's when I realize that I do have something to prove . . . to myself (cheesy, I know). Go to CNN.com and look at the Top Video Picks of the Day. It doesn't matter what day of the week, they will probably look something like this: 'Don't Forget About the Deficit,' 'Junk Food to Haute Cuisine,' 'Depression Meds Forever?' 'The Obesity Epidemic,' and so on. Every now and again it's nice to turn these things off and focus on the self. That's the funny thing about Generation Me. To be self-centered we all have to stay so incredibly in tune to what's going on - it's a losing battle. That's why I have to follow through with this one thing (whatever that may be). I need to know that I have what it takes to accomplish something, no matter how small the undertaking. If I say I'm going to the gym today, I need to do it. If I preach organic, healthy foods, I need to eat that way. When did trends become our reality? Actions don't speak louder than words anymore. But I'm veering from the point: I've got the week 2 blues. Let's face it, what I really want to is to be fit, attractive, and healthy (an added bonus). I want to get work as an actor, I want to find a life partner (someday), I want people to take me seriously. Unfortunately, these things are easier if I'm in-shape. Thin is definitely in - that's evolution. That's also reality. So whether I like it or not, whether anyone agrees with it or not, going to the gym is something that must be done. No worries, I'll get through my second week blues. All I need is a personal mantra, perhaps something from an iconic marketing campaign. When in doubt? Just Do It.